A Moment of Ecstasy (Part 1)

So it was on Tuesday when it came in the mail. No, not anthrax, just a small envelope with a report, of none other than my AP exam scores.

AP exams were the highlight of my studies in my junior year of high school. The purpose of an AP (Advanced Placement) class is to prepare you for college and even be able provide college credit while in high school. So as you can imagine, there are many students who choose to take an AP class and eventually the exam. Taking the exam is not required, but without it, the class only helps your GPA, and there wouldn't be any payoff for college.

At the beginning of the school year, I was overwhelmed by the amount of AP classes I had to take. As mentioned, they were more rigorous and fast-paced than any of the 'regular' classes in high school. So with five AP classes on my plate, it was the year that I decided to pay attention in the AP classes and pay loose attention to the rest. An AP exam was like a long-term investment, everything you learned and worked hard for the entire came down to a matter of a three hour exam. If you passed it, of course it was all worth it, but if you didn't pass it, well, it was just an investment that didn't have a good return. Another thing about the AP exams was the money, most schools require the student to pay a decent amount for the exam, while they are subsidized by the state to cover a small part of it. Our school paid around $30, but we had to chip in for the rest, and when you're taking five exams, it adds up to quite a large sum. Some of the AP classes I had taken this year were US history, European history, Psychology, Spanish, and Language and Composition (English). US history was probably the most rigorous course of them all, the teacher took it much more seriously than the rest of the other AP topics, we always expected homework, quizzes, and the occasional test. Many students were in for a surprise when they took the course, not many expected to deal with so much work along with the work from all the other classes.

If you don't know how these exams are scored, here's a brief explanation:

5  Extremely well qualified*
4   Well qualified*
3   Qualified*
2   Possibly qualified*
1   No recommendation**

*Qualified to receive college credit or advanced placement
**No recommendation to receive college credit or advanced placement

So, as you can imagine, my heart stopped for a moment when I saw the letter in the mail. The hour of judgment has finally arrived...via mail. Essentially everything that I had worked for the entire school year was finally here in a small letter. After that moment of shock, I pondered what would happen if I didn't get the scores I wanted. I was aiming for a 4 or 5 in every subject, except Spanish, because I don't plan on taking any type of a language major. Besides, in order to be able to pass the Spanish exam requires fluent speaking and comprehension of the language, and I was nowhere near that level. Yet nevertheless, I aimed for a 2 in Spanish, because that would mean that I knew something after all these years of studying the Spanish language in high school. Another thought that came to my mind was what college would I go to, that is if my scores weren't good enough. Now believe me, I'm wasn't planning on going to Harvard (to put it another way, they probably wouldn't accept me!), but I didn't want to settle for a lousy community college. Most schools accept a 4 or 5 in order to receive college credit, but what if I only had a 3, even worse, what if I didn't pass? These were some of the things that raced through my mind as I took the mail back home. I didn't even want to tell my parents what my scores were, I anticipated the abysmal scores that I would eventually have to confess to the rest of the family members. Of course, if I had gotten good scores, that would be the only thing that I would tell them for days if not weeks.

I dropped the rest of the mail at a nearby table and I went to the office room, my mother was there but she was occupied watching a video on the computer. I figured she wouldn't have noticed me opening the mail, and perhaps I could make a getaway if the scores weren't good enough.  Slowly, unknown as to what may be in the letter, I opened the mail. I glanced within  it and took out the only sheet of paper that was there...

And There it was.

I didn't even have the moment to hide myself in anticipation from the scores, they looked at me straight in the eye. Suddenly, there was nowhere to hide, it was time to face the music.

Two 5's, two 4's, and a 2. Suddenly the only thing I could do was leap in joy, it had been worth it! The endless nights of work, the studying for tests, the projects, all of it had paid off! That moment was exhilarating, any feeling of anticipation and dread that remained had gone away. At that moment, none of the troubles that I had to deal with everyday  mattered. It was a moment in life that I cherished, I knew that there would be many nights where I would reminisce this exact moment, and how it may have potentially changed the entire course of where my life would be headed. Suddenly, I felt like  a hero that could accomplish anything in life, be whatever I wanted to be, do whatever I wanted to do, and as long as I put in the effort towards it, I would get there. This moment liberated a rush of adrealin within me, and as a result, I felt as if I were Superman.

So after the emotional arousal, I called up my sister and I told her the good news, and then my other sister, then my mom, then a few of my friends, then a few of my other friends.  It became harder to hold it all in, so I was walking around my house, thinking of what was and could be. After settling down for a while, I realized that my dad was coming back home from India tommorrow! Yes, this too would be another moment of happiness. My dad had gone to India for more than a month, and I was tired of being the one who had to deal with my mom and her mood swings. I realized the big role that he played in our family every day of our lives. For this reason, our whole family missed him when he wasn't around. Besides, he too must know about the AP scores! It seemed as if everything in my life was turning around at the perfect time.

I felt then that nothing in the world could stop me, nothing at all.

Thanks for reading,

This is part one of two, the next post will be here in a few days.

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